Now that I’m in Chicago permanently, I have been taking the opportunity to do more Midwest travel and rediscover the awesomeness of rust belt America. This past week I had three days off in a row, which is unheard of in the service industry and decided to rent some wheels and road trip to that ever so friendly city to the north, Milwaukee.

Upon arriving, my lovely Milwaukee inside source directed me to Beans & Barley. Not only do they have plenty of vegetarian and vegan items on their menu, they have a little grab and go section with amazing prices. I had the TLT (tempeh, Lettuce & Tomato) which was served on the most delicious bread I’ve ever eaten. I swear, it’s like baked crack.

Even though Beans & Barley serves beer, there were other establishments in the cards for that necessity. The Speakeasy is a Milwaukee landmark and probably one of the most interesting bars I’ve ever been to. I enjoyed the secret passageways and the maze-like feeling of the bar. Drank a New Glarus Spotted Cow and explored the rotating booth and secret code/phone booth exit.

No trip to Milwaukee would be complete without a visit to the Bronze Fonzie and a lovely walk along the river front. From The Speakeasy I headed to Palomino for some Vegan BBQ. Fried cheese curds were also consumed at Palomino because this is Wisconsin after all and they won’t let you in the state without the promise of eating cheese curds.

The night was ended at an establishment where they light drinks on fire and serve them to you. I drank fire. The rest of the night is kinda a blur.

fabraycohenchang:

Moral of the story? Women matter less to the US government than a few downloaded copies of a Glee episode.

Spent the day at Tryst in Adams Morgan. The measured beats of underground hip hop mixed with the hum of crowded coffee shop conversation, the on-again off-again rain breaking the spell of humidity lingering over D.C., I felt like no where else would I rather be at this moment than right here.

It feels good to be back in the states.

Talib Kweli feat. Bahamadia (Chaos) came on over the speaker and I thought of listening to that song while sitting in Beth’s 1979 Volvo station wagon, talking about gender expression, the first time she shaved her head and men stopped being nice to her.

So the last six months of traveling around Europe are now over. I was very bad at tumbling my adventures. I only got half way through Scotland, didn’t mention my 6 weeks in Italy or my 5 weeks in Ireland or the stint of working at a hostel during an Irish Matchmaking Festival. If you would like to know more about that last bit, I recommend reading the lovely Kyle Brown’s account of his time there. Kyle says many of the things I would like to say, but in a much better way. He is awesome. 

I will post a comprehensive pizza review soon. I ate pizza in every country I visited, so I accomplished at least one of my goals. I also drank beer in every country. I drank a lot of beer.

I kept a tally of all the best things about each country and then ranked them against the other countries I visited. Here are the results:

Best Food: Romania

Locally grown fresh fruits and veggies at outdoor markets for super cheap. Fresh made cheese and hand ground spices available almost everywhere. Plus my grandma’s cooking. That really put it over the top. Despite what most people would think, I had no trouble finding vegetarian options in Romania.

Runner up: Italy

I stayed at an organic vineyard and sustainable farm. It doesn’t get better than going to the veggie patch every morning and picking the food for the day or grabbing fresh laid eggs from the chicken coop. The Italian Pizza was by far the best of the trip, but it was the pizza I had at the farm. We made the bread every Friday and thus had pizza parties on Friday night. There was also an outdoor terrace where we ate dinner as the sun set.  The only definitive reason Italy is a runner up and not tied with Romania for the number one spot is that there was a huge gap in the deliciousness of food enjoyed on the farm and food enjoyed at restaurants. Going out to eat was a little disappointing.

Best Mass Transit: Tie Rome/Paris

Both systems were easy to navigate and very intuitive. They were equally clean/unclean and efficient. I like metro systems. Buses are ok, but rail is the way to go when traveling long distances in a city.

Runner up: Dublin

The bus system was very developed and the rail/tram system was very clean and efficient. It just relied to heavily on buses. Dublin is a very walkable city, I only took the bus to go to the airport/leave town or if it was raining too hard to walk. 

Best Biking City: Amsterdam

Does this even need an explanation? There are three separate lanes on the street/road: one for pedestrians, one for cyclists, and one for cars. They are all separated by a small lip/curb. There are more bikes than people and rush hour has more cyclists than cars. Fuck yeah Amsterdam!

Best Beer: Tie Brussels/Budapest/Lisdoonvarna Ireland

Brussels: Umm fancy Belgian beer is amazing. I need not say more.

Budapest had all the Eastern European beers my heart desired. They were all very affordable and delicious. Another reason to love the Hungarians.

Lisdoonvarna has a pub called the Roadside Tavern. They brew only 3 beers, but all three are amazing. The Gold, Red and Black (Lager/Ale/Stout) are rich, flavorful and complex beers. This place is a gem. Plus after winning this competition I was in need of a drink. Several drinks.

Best Showers: Scotland

Yes, this is a category. I am picky about my showers/baths. I have been known to ask landlords to allow me to use the shower in an apartment before I sign the lease. I like scalding hot showers with water pressure that feels like you’re punching the dirt off.  When I was working/living at the bike shop, there was no shower. The owner had a membership to a health spa down the street and I had to go there to shower. It was amazing. Great water pressure, lots of space in the shower stall and there was a sauna!

Best Bathtubs: Ireland

I’m about 5’ 5” and most tubs in the U.S. are to short for me or too shallow. The places I stayed in Ireland, if they had a bathtub, had the most amazing perfect tubs. I could lay on the bottom completely stretched out and completely submerged.

Best Thrifting: Brussels*

There is a flea market every Sunday morning in Ixelles and it is jam packed with great finds for super cheap. I got a pair of crystal salt & pepper shakers for 4 euro, a few vintage scarves for 1 euro each and I was very tempted to buy an original 1950’s nautical themed bathing suit for 10 euro. I resisted buying it since it was too small and no amount of working out would ever make me fit into that suit.

*Rome has an amazing flea market as well, but I only went briefly and fled before I could buy anything. Flying to Italy, my airline had a checked baggage weight limit of 32KG/67LBS. My flight from Italy to Ireland had a weight limit of 20KG/44lbs. I could pay an additional 9 euros for each kg I was over in weight if I bought in advance or it would be 14 euros for each kg the day of my flight. To say the least, I wore as many articles of clothing/jewelery/scarves/belts as I could en route to Dublin. I looked ridiculous.

Runner up: West Coast Ireland (Ennistymon/Galway)

There were quite a few good charity shops in Galway, but they were difficult to find because the Irish don’t like street signs. It is hard to navigate a city without street signs. Upstairs Downstairs in Ennistymon was the best thrift shop I visited in Ireland. I got a pair of pleated, plaid, elastic waist grandpa pants (which look really hot on, btw) for only 2 euro! H&M sells wannabe grandpa pants for 10 times that price and they weren’t even ever owned by a real grandpa. pffffffffft!

Best Dancing: Italy

Those Italian men know how to move. I love dancing and I love anyone who can keep up with me on the dance floor. Had I made it to Berlin, Italy might have had some competition in this category.

________

The whole trip was unforgettable. There were times where I got homesick or things didn’t turn out how I planned. I met the worst human on the face of the planet, but I also met some of the most beautiful and wonderful people who restore my faith in humanity. The travel experience made me think about class and identity in a different way (more on this later) and it caused me to be even more critical of my behavior towards others. I look forward to more traveling in the next few years. Hopefully I’ll start grad school next fall and that will allow me summers off to go on more international adventures.

beyondmoderation:

SIT PERFECTLY STILL.  ONLY I MAY DANCE.

(Source: newwavepolly)

Pillsbury Dough Boy post stroke

- B. Lester

(Source: blog-anglophonic)

I arrived on the Isle of Mull after a week and a half stay in Edinburgh. I needed a break from the asshole owner of the bike shop. His bottle of whiskey a day habit was in full swing and I couldn’t take anymore.

I left the shop in the capable hands of another awesome volunteer/helper mechanic. The owner is such a mess and terrible human being that no amount of money will keep anyone working for him. He relies on helpers because they’re often in a bind. They usually don’t have a lot of money or are traveling for long periods of time, so they have to at least mind their finances. The owner does a good job of sucking people in to helping out at the shop or at the hostel, but soon most people realize that this guy is a nutjob and try to make other arrangements. It’s often difficult to find a last minute host and expensive to find last minute accommodations. (again, I promise a more detailed rant on this later.)

There’s not much to do on Mull and very few young people, but it was a great break from the city. Scenic, quiet, relaxing, in short, everything I wanted. I did a few bike tours, took some pictures, met lots of interesting people and watched some pretty awful movies. Killing me Softly and When the Party’s Over made me feel like there should be some sort of drinking game created to make these movies more tolerable. When the Party’s over is trying to be St. Elmo’s Fire but set in LA with less money and worse acting.

Loch Frisa Bike Path

creek running to Loch Frisa

trees along Loch Frisa bike path

Aros Castle

Bike trail to Aros Castle

More Aros Castle bike path

Sound of Mull

View from Craignure

I also went on a wildlife tour where I got terribly sea sick the last hour and spent a good chunk of that hour vomiting uncontrollably. I’d been on plenty of boats before and not been sea sick, so I didn’t pack any Dramamine or sea sickness pills. I think the reason I got sick this time was because the boat was quite small (smaller than any of the others I’ve been on) and we went out into open ocean. Choppy waves and a small boat is the prescription for sea sickness. The only boats I’ve been on out in open ocean were ferries or very large passenger boats (or T-Pain’s Yacht). The smaller boats I’ve been on were only in lakes and rivers.

I didn’t take many pictures on the tour since there weren’t many animals out. In my time on the island, I saw lots of interesting wildlife for free. My favs:

Giant Dead Crab

lovable ginger tom cat. Love how the collar matches the car. Plus: Detroit Tiger’s colors. Fuck yes.

Giant Sea Gull of Doom

I was in Edinburgh for most of the month of June working at a bike shop, learning to fix bikes. My first weekend at the shop as sole mechanic on duty, the following event/conversation occurred:

_________

A middle aged guy came in to the shop asking to talk to the mechanic. Now, we don’t fix bikes, but maintain a fleet of bikes for rent. When a cyclist comes in, usually for a quick repair (flat, break adjustment, etc.) we help them out because we can and it’s good bike karma. The shop doesn’t do more extensive repairs or sell parts. Repair-ish services are done in-kind on the part of the mechanic on duty.

Me: Good afternoon, what can I help you with today?

Customer: Hey, is your mechanic on duty?

Me: Yes, I’m the mechanic. What can I help you with?

Customer: well, ummm… is there another mechanic available?

Me: (it took me a minute to realize what was going on) ohhhh, you mean a guy?

Customer: (breathing a sigh of relief) yeah, that would be great.

Me: Oh, ok. You know, maybe you could help me with something. My mechanic training wasn’t the best, but could you tell me where on the bike the mechanic is supposed to stick his penis in order to make it function properly?

Customer: …

The look on his face was lovely. The customer then mutters something that sounded like cunt/fucking cunt as he walks out of the shop.

___________

I’ve worked retail/customer service for far longer than any mentally healthy human being should, so when dealing with some truly disgusting and awful people, I’ve been less confrontational. In the states, the motto “The Customer is Always Right” has a way of keeping employees (if one works for the big corporate monsters or has shitty management) from sticking up for themselves. I’ve been fortunate enough to have managers who have taken my side in customer disputes, but that kind of trust/backing comes from letting the less deplorable behavior of customers slide. Since this bike shop gig was volunteer and the owner is the worst human being I have ever met (more on this later) I had less reservation about speaking my mind than in a normal employment situation.

I have to mention that the majority of people who came into the shop we’re really awesome and confident in my ability to properly service a bike. Some beginner cyclists mentioned that they felt less intimidated when asking questions. I still believe that the gender of a service provider, be it mechanic, salesperson, or dentist matters less (aka shouldn’t matter at all) than their ability to be approachable, professional and competent.